Sunday 27 December 2009

Half time

Monday 14 December 2009

Monday 23 November 2009

Horses' Arse

We live in very strange times. The biggest pre order CD in the history of Amazon is a collection of covers by a strange Scottish woman called Susan Boyle. Why would this be I ask myself and I really struggle to come up with any sort of logical answer.

Cowell and co have a helluva lot to answer for when they keep feeding the public with an endless supply of mediocrity. The sad thing is that the public seem to lap it up time and time again. Now, I bear no ill will towards the woman who has indeed got a decent voice but come on?? A collection of songs including 'Amazing Grace', 'Daydream Believer' and 'Silent Night' is hardly the stuff of musical par excellence. It's typical dross churned out to hit the shops for the xmas people. Maybe there is something wrong with me that I would rather buy John Mayer's new album which is a collection of finely crafted and mostly self penned material that comes from the heart with some amazing musicianship to boot. Has it made the news headlines? Nope.

I do watch The X Factor for my sins and I have found myself despising it on so many levels this year, but I keep watching it. I DO NOT buy into it, I don't vote and wouldn't dream of buying any material associated with it. On the whole, it's entertainment that will quickly disappear from my mind as soon as they bring down the final curtain.

When Susan Boyle was in 'Britain's Got Talent' I didn't get the fuss at all and I still don't. Believe me, there are hundreds and possibly thousands of more musically talented people in the UK than her. Every town and city has better singers than her, but they just don't have the drive, commitment or luck that she has had and we will never hear of them. Programmes like 'The X Factor' and the tabloid press are so powerful that they just need to suggest something and the whole world just follows. It's force feeding and it is not healthy if the music business is going to prosper with any substance.

I wish Susan Boyle well and I am sure she will do well, but honestly after watching her sing 'Wild Horses' on television last night, it ain't for me. 'Wild Horses' is a classic that was ruined in her translation of it. But hell who am I to offer a critique? I'm just a has been baseball pitcher who curses and swears a lot. Shit, I'm not even that...................

Thursday 19 November 2009

Le Cunt

Thierry Henry cheated last night and he got off with it !!! So what?? Many have done worse and many will do much worse than T did last night.

I am neither French or Irish so I feel exactly the same as I do when I think of all the cheating antics displayed by the likes of Ronaldo & co.

The sheer volume of hatred displayed on Twitter during last night's aftermath was honestly ridiculous, with many associating Ireland's World Cup exit with ........................Arsenal?????Last night had absolutely damn all to do with Arsenal. I am seriously amazed that anybody can suggest that last night's handball is suddenly going to make us forget what the wonderful Thierry Henry did for Arsenal and indeed world football.

In the same way that Roy Carroll didn't run up to the ref saying ''Hey ref, that's a goal man. I dropped it about a foot over the line then scooped it out'' Thierry Henry stayed quiet. I didn't complain when Scotland got that penalty against the Welsh at Anfield all those years ago when Joe Jordan clearly handled it. The whole thing is just a huge mountain out of a molehill and I would be disgusted if the game had to be replayed.

Cheating is not nice, but it happens and it always will. I think no less of you Thierry !!

Saturday 7 November 2009

Saturday 31 October 2009

Friday 9 October 2009


Interlull filled rubbish

Saturday 19 September 2009

Sunday 13 September 2009

Despicable Togalese Tosser

It has not been a fortnight that I wish to remember in footballing terms. From our defeat at Old Trafford came a very tiresome international break which saw us lose Arshavin, Scotland predictably fail to qualify for South Africa and a torturous 90 minutes following Man Shitty and Arsenal via Radio 5 and Twitter.

I reckon that this is the first Arsenal game I haven't been able to watch live in over a year. So travelling down the M6 heading ironically for a Man Shitty supporter's birthday bash, I tuned into 5 live to listen to the action unfold. This really is not a good way to follow your team but it was the only option available as we continued south past Manchester. This was an early season away match that I was tempted to attend but thankfully I chose the season opener at Goodison in preference.

I have spent the day travelling back up and following the reaction on Twitter and the web. It is now Sunday evening and I have watched the Football First recording of the game. The result was a complete farce and I thought we played reasonably well and controlled things. Unfortunately it is not the footballing skills of any individual that everyone is talking about.

Adebayor is a disgrace to his profession and should have been shown a straight red for his despicable lack of regard for the well being of a fellow professional who until recently, he shared a dressing room with. His act was deliberate, and could have done serious damage to Robin Van Persie's life, not just his career, his life you fucking tosser!! Any blow to the head can have grim consequences and to deliberately do what he did leaves me very angry. I never cared for his lazy, offside strewn performances for Arsenal, but now I can only wish him a career that doesn't see him win another honour. He rubbed salt in the wound with his 90 yard sprint and showed complete contempt for all us Gooners. So Fuck off Adebayor you scummish rancid lanky piece of turd !!!

Sorry for the language but I am really pissed off. We are Arsenal and we will bounce back. Not often I hope for a Manure win, but I will for just one week.

Sunday 30 August 2009

Lucky Mancs

Sky Sports named Wayne Rooney as ''Man of the Match'' after yesterday's debacle at Old Trafford. What exactly did Mr Rooney do to deserve such an accolade? I am still scratching my head. Was it due to his body weight dropping onto Almunia's arms to earn a very dubious penalty? Or was it the fact that he is an 'honest' Englishman who can do no wrong in the eyes of a biased English press? Because make no mistake about it, Thomas Vermaelen had him well sussed and allowed him very little time and space to show anything to earn such praise.

Everything about yesterday's game was rather skewed in my mind, the result, the penalty, Fletcher remaining unpunished, our stonewall penalty denial and Arsene's unfair treatment by the officials and their 'fans'. I may sound pissed off and that is because I am. Whenever Mike Dean is involved, we seem to get well and truly shafted. Remember that last minute penalty he gave against us at Birmingham City a couple of seasons ago? Fuck you Mike Dean!

There are an awful lot of positives we can take from yesterday. We were the better team and as long as we continue to play like we did, not many teams will get points off us. I feel a lot more confident regarding our defence. Vermaelen and Gallas look a very solid central pairing. The Belgian is definitely future captain material from what I have seen since he arrived. Our young players have stepped up to a higher level and I have been particularly impressed with Song and Denilson.

So now we go into an 'Interlull' and have a long wait until we run out at Eastlands, but on yesterday's performance we need fear nobody. Yesterday was a hiccup and I doubt that many Mancs will be very confident of retaining the title with their squad. It has taken a while, but quality wise, I believe we have now overtaken them.

Sunday 23 August 2009

Weak and Unjustified

I just sent an email to Scotland's Minister of Weakness:

Mr Macaskill,

I write this as a subject of this country that was once held in high esteem worldwide. I am afraid that your recent actions have indeed made a mockery of any reason why we should have our own government. In the climate of terror that we currently have to live in, I am astounded and indeed embarrassed at the total lack of respect you have shown the victims and their families on both sides of the Atlantic.

The main thing that I can't get my head around is HOW you managed to come to such a bad decision, because make no mistake about it, you made a terrible call on this. Our troops are being killed on an almost daily basis in Iraq and Afghanistan and the Western World is under constant threat, so you decide to show compassion and release a terrorist. It is not compassion, it is weakness and I am disgusted.


Angry Scotsman.

Sunday 16 August 2009

A Very Pleasant Day Out

I don't get to attend many Arsenal games due to my location and modest income, so when I get the chance to go to two games in four days you can imagine the anticipation as our supporters bus parked up at Goodison yesterday. I made my way into the Lower Bullens stand after a hopeless attempt to procure a beer from a bar that seemed to cater for the lucky few or the persistent ones prepared to miss the start of the game. I fell in to neither category and I made sure I was seated early.

I don't feel the need to do a match report as there are plenty blogs out there to tick that particular box. 6-1 to the Arsenal was not a song I or anyone else expected to be singing, especially at Goodison Park where points are usually very hard to come by. I did manage to capture some video of us singing 5-0 to the Arsenal. I even managed to get myself into the video.

Everton may not have been at their best, but let's not take anything away from the clinical manner of this victory. Every Arsenal player was well up for this and I was most impressed with our new signing Thomas Vermaelen who looked like he has been at the heart of our defence for years. I have not been Bentner's biggest fan in the past, but hell he was very impressive yesterday and his movement off the ball was excellent. Alex Song too was most impressive and hardly put a foot wrong the whole game. Our team did Arsenal Football Club proud yesterday. A magnificent first day of the season for us and a fantastic atmosphere in the away section with lots of high fives and hugging going on. We all sung our hearts out and it was great practice for Tuesday night where we will need to up the singing volume to compete with the electric atmosphere in Celtic Park.

I am very excited about my trip across the city in two days time and I expect us to beat them home and away. Celtic, be afraid, be very afraid, because The Arsenal are coming to town.

Sunday 9 August 2009

Six Days And We're Off

This afternoon the Community Shield between the Mancs and the Chavs signals the opening of the new season. A season where Arsene Wenger and his squad really need to step it up and get some kind of silverware in the cabinet.

Last nights two nil defeat at the hands of Valencia was hardly the tonic we needed going into Saturdays game against Everton. I managed to see most of the game after having some first half problems with video feed. Apart from a promising first five minutes of the second half, we didn't do anything to convince anybody that the coming season is going to be any better than the previous. It was a strangely lacklustre showing in our blue golfing type polo shirts. Surely our home kit doesn't clash in any way with the home sides and was probably worn to boost sales. I for one will be sticking with my yellow top when I travel to Goodison next weekend.

Pre season has actually been fine until last night but there are still a few things I am concerned about as we approach the real stuff. A big defensive signing is absolutely essential in my opinion. How can we bank £40 million and play Silvestre? It just doesn't make a lot of sense to me at all. When he was signed, I really believed that it was a short term measure from the boss to add some experience to the squad at the tail end of the season. I expected him to be sold on to some French club in the summer to end his career. I was obviously wrong and I guess there are few Gooners who can fathom out his part in what lies ahead. He was awful last night too and I am very worried about our defensive options.

Nicklas Bentner playing wide is another thing that doesn't sit well with me. It just doesn't work in any way. I am not Bentner's biggest fan but if he is going to play, surely he is more suited to a central role or as an impact sub. He does give 100% every time he plays though and I really hate to be critical of anyone who puts forth his effort. I just have my doubts that he is good enough. Diaby is another player I have doubts about. He can either be sublime or just a big clumsy liability and unfortunately it is more often than not, the latter.

I am not going to say any more about the Valencia game as at the end of the day it was only a pre season friendly. We are six days from our opener against Everton and then we have a very tricky visit to the cauldron that is Celtic Park. My visit to Celtic Park is going to be tricky as I have to get from one side of Glasgow to the other in my Arsenal shirt. Parkhead is a very intimidating place for visiting fans. I remember when Man U played them and my partner who is a Man U fan went to the game with her son. I recieved a text from her ''This place is a jungle. Get me out?'' She has sworn never to set foot there again and she arrived home quite disgusted by the whole experience.

I am excited at the prospect of going to our first two games of the season and I am confident we can do well but we are at least two signings short of a serious league challenge so I can only hope Arsene is of the same mind.

Wednesday 5 August 2009

Saturday 1 August 2009

It's Been A While

The football season is only two weeks away, and like many I am getting very excited at the prospect. It has been a long summer of tennis, golf and cricket. I don't mind the tennis and the golf but I'm afraid that the cricket bores me even more than sitting through a Paul McCartney concert on Sky+ and rewinding it to the start every time he does that Frog Chorus shit. It just ain't cricket, only marginally better.

Before I go any further I would like to say how sad I was to hear of Sir Bobby Robson's death yesterday. The world of football has lost a great, great man who will be sadly missed by genuine football fans the world over. The memories he gave us over the years have certainly enriched my football experience and had it not been for that cheating little Argie bastard using his hand, who knows how the history books would have looked. RIP Sir Bobby, a true legend and gentleman.

Today is the opening of The Emirates Cup and as I write, Rangers and PSG have just started as the anticipation of the main event grows. Since I last wrote there has been a quite a bit of transfer activity and rumours. Adebayor and Toure have both left us and as far as I am concerned, good riddance to the former. He was lazily coasting to his fat pay cheque last season and I hope he does the same in the future for his even fatter pay cheque. These rich fuckers have little respect for the beautiful game and I sincerely hope their project fails miserably. As far as Kolo goes, I wish him well as he never gave less than 100% for us and Arsene obviously didn't see him as part of his future plans. I really don't know how I feel at the prospect of Vieira re joining us. I can see that his presence and legendary Arsenal status could be a good thing and signing him could be a masterstroke. On the other hand I feel that we really need to sign a defensive midfielder to complement the current squad and who is going to be around for years to come, someone of this stature. Naldo of Werder Bremen is another player I would like to see at Arsenal but I may be biased as I signed him for my FIFA 09 team.

Anyway, I am off to relax and watch the aperitif that is Rangers v PSG. Until the next time.... WE LOVE YOU ARSENAL, WE DO, WE LOVE YOU ARSENAL, WE DO, WE LOVE YOU ARSENAL, WE DO, OH ARSENAL WE LOVE YOU.

Friday 3 July 2009

Laughing in The Absence of Football

It's been a while since I have updated my blog and that is good as it means I am busy and solvent rather than sitting on my arse on Twitter all day making no money. A lot has happened since I last wrote:

Glastonbury has come and gone with Bruce Springsteen blowing everyone else out of the water with an absolutely storming set. Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett died with the formers demise heralding a deluge of sick jokes to phones and in boxes around the world. I wouldn't like jokes circulating if one of my family died so ''piss off with your sick jokes whoever the hell creates them''. Just not good enough, have at least some respect. I mean, I didn't care for Michael Jackson's music and antics, but hell I am not going to laugh about it. I was also sad to hear of my favourite ''Charlie's Angel's'' passing. I grew up with them and may she rest in peace along with Jacko.

With the drought of any sort of Arsenal signings and happenings, I have been able to smile a few times lately. Our old friends at Shite Heart lane are always good for a laugh so lets laugh about them. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I was listening to Talk Sport the other night and they had Dermot Gallagher(or was it O' it was Gallagher) in the studio. They were beginning a phone in show regarding the standard of refereeing in the Prem. It was not long before one of those lillywhite twats reared its ugly head, the first caller in fact.....and the second. I had a good laugh at them but had to switch off as I didn't want to have to listen to the third one that would inevitably come. I laughed and laughed as the first guy whined on about how the ref lost them a place in Europe when they played the Mancs. zzzzzzzzzz Who cares? No one is listening!!!

An unexpected laugh was chuckled today as I discovered Michael Owen has joined Man U. I think Demento has really excelled himself this window. Sell Diver and Tevez, buy Valencia and Owen. Who will be next? Ian Rush? ''Hey Fergie! Sylvestre still has some legs''. Seriously though, Owen was past his best some time ago and he will never get that pace back that he so relied on. I reckon this is a poor signing but I guess time will tell.

I am not mentioning poker this time as i'm afraid it hasn't generated one bit of laughter for me for a long time. I am having an extended break from the felt but will probably read some books and take it from there. Good weekend to you all and please feel free to follow any links on the page and buy some expensive items- it helps put food on my table :)))

Wednesday 24 June 2009

Sensitive Olfaction?

Oh how I have neglected my blog since I started Taxi Driving. To all of you millions who await my posts with bated breath, I apologise. Talking of breath, specifically bad breath, I have noticed smells that are only apparent when you are in close contact with people. I do need to get some kind of fabric freshener for my seats as I have been surprised by the percentage of people who obviously give it a miss on the personal hygiene. I guess I could wear a mask and say I'm trying to avoid Swine flu but that seems a tad extreme.

I have some quiet periods during the day so I think the new iPhone is going to be a useful tool for keeping up to speed with the web and Twitter. I do listen to the radio but Talk Sport can get a bit tedious once Mike Parry has finished. There also seems to be a lot of minority stuff like cricket on at the moment. I guess they need filler with the lack of football but it makes for a real bore fest in my opinion.

I have played very little poker lately and feel none the worse for it. I play, I lose, I get angry, so what's the point? Angry is an easy state to achieve so why go looking for it?

I discovered earlier that Arsenal Scotland Supporters Club are organising a trip to Goodison for our season opener. I will be going to that one as the bus trips are brilliant. I had my car last trip but hopefully I can find a kind soul to give me a lift to pick up point and I can have a drink or ten!! It will be great to be one of the first to see all our new signings in action. Notice I said signings. Roll on the new season.......

Thursday 18 June 2009

Ross Kemp Spots Another Gooner

It has been a wee while since my last post so this may be a long one. I started work on Monday which coincided with gum pain that has given me sleepless nights. I was unemployed for over four months and apart from the odd bout of gastric reflux, I had a rather carefree time health wise. I ask myself, why the fuck when you need to be alert and focused, does your body start to resist??? Mouth pain is right up at the top of my charts for ''Pains to Avoid''. It is not a new entry, it has always been there!!! So why has my mouth decided to piss around with me this week just before I start work? Probably the same god of luck that sends me out of the Twitter Poker Tour Europe with pocket Kings losing to Queens. Somebody up there is taking the piss and I want them to stop. I bet Ross Kemp can cope with mouth ache better than I can which brings me nicely on to this weeks ''Ross Kemp In Search of Pirates''

This week Ross visited Nigeria in his quest for a meeting with modern day pirates. He didn't get a meeting but two more Gooners were spotted along the way. Eboue would be among friends if he signed up for a Pirates XI. Now, I said it in another post, but I must say it again, Ross Kemp has big steel balls. I think what he was attempting to do in this weeks episode was way beyond what you would expect from a production team. He travelled way off the beaten track into the Niger Delta into an area where there is a very high risk of being kidnapped. Later in the show, he and his small production team were staying in a hotel that they were not allowed to leave due to the danger outside !!!! Now here's the big one: He tried to arrange a secret 3am meeting with pirates which would involve secretly bypassing security to get out of the hotel. ''If you go to meet kidnappers, there's a good chance you could be kidnapped yourself'' he said. Now you see why I said he has balls of steel. Big Respect Ross!!!!!

Sunday 14 June 2009

Limp Exit and Limp Bizkit

After not doing too well in this weeks Twitter Poker Tour Europe, I placed a respectable 7th in the later main TPT event. I just ran out of cards when I needed a hand to push with and ended up shoving with a mediocre holding. This was my highest finish to date and keeps me near the top end of the leader board. Well done to Poker Blunders who won after not having played a TPT for some time. I didn't bother getting involved in Friday night's mini TPT as it was HORSE they were playing and I am no good at that, in fact I would say I am more of a horse's arse than HORSE player.

The festival season is well under way, and this weekend saw the Download Festival from Donnington. With live streaming on their website and Limp Bizkit hitting the stage on Friday afternoon, it all added up to a televisual feast!! The feast started for me as Fred Durst and the boys opened their set and I stuck the external speakers to full blast. They were absolutely brilliant. I particularly enjoyed ''Full Nelson'' as Fred got two guys from the crowd up on stage and the three of them jumped about the stage in a mental fashion. Fantastic !!! I didn't catch much of yesterday's bands but today I have watched Journey and Dream Theater who were both excellent. I wish I had been able to go as the brilliant Shinedown were playing on one of the other stages. I have managed to see them just once when they supported Disturbed in Glasgow last year. I only caught half of their set then too but that is another story. Damned Carling Academy sucks !!!!

The rest of my weekend has been spent watching season 2 of Prison Break which is just a great way to spend one's time. Tomorrow sees me start work after over four months of unemployment so my life as a professional poker player is about to end - early retirement :) It's a hobby now. A hobby is supposed to be a pleasure and I resolve to temper my anger when my AA loses to 49 off suit....... I will try.

Thursday 11 June 2009

Boa Riddance Rergulhador

So the big news today is the Ronaldo to Real Madrid saga. I have to say that they are most welcome to each other and I believe Man Utd will be no poorer for his loss. £80 million can get a lot of player or players and if I was a Manc, I would be excited rather than disappointed. I for one will be glad to see the back of him as I hate his diving, cheating and cry baby tactics. That is what I will remember him for, not his skill, dribbling and free kicks, but his diving. The REAL reason for his departure can be found here.

He may be the most expensive player in football history, but he is also the most hyped up. Being told he is the best player in the world has done this boy's ego no good. Lionel Messi is, in my opinion, streets ahead of him on every level and when he is fouled he stays on his feet if at all possible. Balance, sublime skill and great attitude, that is Messi.

There has not been much happening in Arsenal news and there isn't really much to report on any signing progress. Theo played in last night's thrashing of Andorra and to be honest, I switched it on and lost interest after ten minutes. Prison Break v England game = no contest. Watching the likes of Lumpturd, Cuntley and Rancid Captain are really not my idea of what I love about football and I certainly don't like to see them pawing all over Theo. International games are really not what they used to be and Goonerholic has a good post covering that. It's well worth a read whoever you support. I would not go to a Scotland game if I got a free ticket, free lift to the ground and a seat sandwiched between Miss Scotland and Lorraine Kelly.

Tonight sees my return to the poker tables, after a self imposed break, for Twitter Poker Tour. I do hope to do well, but then I say that every week and do badly so I doubt that this week will be much different. I enjoy playing in them as it is like a home game and they really are a good bunch of peeps. As they say in Portuguese: ''Shuffle up e lidar''

Wednesday 10 June 2009

Captain Pugwash and Seaman Eboue

I watched ''Ross Kemp In Search of Pirates'' on Sky 1 last night. Since he did his ''RK on Gangs'' and ''RK in Afghanistan'' I have been following his exploits. I know he gets paid lots of money for these programmes, but it is admirable the lengths he goes to in order to produce a TV show which is compelling viewing. In this, his third offering, he is searching for pirates off the coast of Somalia on the Aden Strait which is one of the major shipping passages to the west. Ross has joined the crew on a British warship that patrols the area. The Marines on board are not allowed to get involved once the pirates are on the ship. It is their job to apprehend pirates and prevent boarding and to check the many dhows in the area.

Ross joined the marines on an empty dhow and as they were going through the contents, he held up what looked like a neck tie type thing and said ''He must be an Arsenal fan''. Now, finding one Arsenal fan on the high seas between Yemen and Somalia would seem remote, so I had to look twice when the boat sped past near the end with what looks like an old away top with Eboue 27 on it (see pic above) . The question I ask is: Do Somalian pirates see something in Eboue that we Brits just don't appreciate? I tried unsuccessfully to track down an Arsenal Supporters Club in Mogadishu, as I would have been interested to get some more information on the Pirate Eboue tie up. I actually wonder if Alisher Usmanov has a pirating background and has donated kits. All very strange indeed. I eagerly await next weeks episode with high expectations of another Arsenal sighting- Silvestre 18. Hey, maybe the pirates could use his experience. Shiver me timbers.............

Tuesday 9 June 2009

Lost in Translation

There has not been a lot happening, hence no blog for a few days. Thankfully I will have less time to blog and tweet due to my imminent return to work. I was made redundant at the end of January and it has taken this long to get myself set up to go self employed as a private hire driver. A ridiculous length of time to be living off Job Seekers Allowance. I am glad this period is almost over and I eagerly await the release of the new i Phone so I can tweet during downtime. My contract upgrade has come at a good time. I will of course, hopefully have lots more money which will allow us a holiday of some description and I have already planned to go and watch Arsenal in next year's Champions League Final :)))

Arsenal are apparently very close to completing the signing of Thomas Vermaelen, the Ajax captain who hails from Belgium. This article from 'De Telegraff' has not translated very well as the headline reads ''Vermaelen Close to Leaving Arsenal''. Now that is not very encouraging if he is thinking of leaving before he has even signed. Perhaps he has had a call from Andre Arshavin informing him of the huge 40% tax hike in the UK. I guess Google Translator has its limiitations and I stumbled upon it while searching a Robin Van Persie article. Now I think this guy looks like a good signing and I do hope we get him. 

In other transfer speculation, we have been linked with a Moroccan who plays for Monaco which for the life of me I can't remember his name. I can't be bothered searching either as it is probably utter rubbish. I did watch a video of him on You Tube this morning and have to say wasn't that impressed. 

Things seem to have gone very quiet on the Adebayor front, which worries me a bit as I would be quite keen to see the back of him. It looks like there is a fair bit of competition for signing Dzeko from Wolfsburg and I suppose we don't really need another striker if lazy ass stays. 

I have had a few days rest from the poker tables and perhaps Twitter Poker Tour will be my weekly game. I have just got sick of the donkeys that seem to reside in online poker(TPT excluded) and after TPT season is over, I am going back to live play. It's embarrassing turning over 7 3 offsuit to suck out on someones Aces when physically sitting next to them and this type of hand is nearly always folded in a live game. Only time will tell to whether I get my poker mojo back, but I really am enjoying the break. Now for my Twitter 2,000th update !!!!

Friday 5 June 2009

Trying to Recapture Winning Ways

Another week draws to a close and I am no closer to re discovering the secret of winning at poker. Last night's Twitter Poker Tour went pretty badly for me and I ended up going out 11th out of 38 (i think) runners. Now 11th is not particularly awful, but it was the manner of my slow pithy demise that was disappointing. Normally I would never let my stack dwindle to a position where I had no fold equity left but the cards went a bit like this : 82 three times in a row, 10 3, 4 7, 2 6 and so on. Nothing I could even think of shoving with and I was left in a position where I had to shove with any old junk with a face card. Am I running badly or am I just a bad player? I feel it may be a bit of both.

I took up the game around five years ago and started with a $50 deposit on Pacific Poker I never had to reload my account and I started winning very consistently. By the time I had been playing for a couple of years, I was up over $3,000 and was a regular on $100 sit and go's and .50/1  cash. It seemed that I just needed to play and my bankroll would grow. I was final tabling MTT's, hell one Friday I entered a $200 sit and go on ipoker, fell asleep drunk, woke up with a short stack with a few runners left, and won it. I won $1,600 that night and I was drunk and slept for an hour while playing. I missed going on to 'Late Night Poker' by one place after getting through three satellites on Party Poker. I won a big freeroll on Pacific and the prize was a frame of snooker against the World Champion. (888 sponsor the World Championship)

We went to Vegas and I decided to take a large chunk of my bankroll with me. I don't regret doing this as I feel it is important to have pleasure from your winnings, and if you ain't been there, VEGAS IS PURE PLEASURE. That's why we've been there three times recently, despite 13 hours of flying and about 3hrs pissing around in airports.  Last trip, we nearly missed connecting flight in Detroit due to my insistence to stand in a smoky bar sucking nicotine before being asked to leave because I wasn't having food. 

Since those heady days of poker success, I have found that, no matter which site or game I play, I lose, and these losses run into 20 non cashes in a row. I really scratch my head as to why I can't get up the stakes again. Perhaps I never will, but as long as I am still keen to learn and still enjoying it, you just never know. I have still not given up on going to this years WSOP but my luck needs to change fast......... I have promised a fellow Tweeter that if I win the Main Event we can party in New England and do some wrecking of a meth trailer. What an incentive !!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday 4 June 2009

Great Speech, Bad Beats and TPT

I struggled out of bed this morning just as Barack Obama's Cairo speech started. Mrs GG (I will refer to her as Mrs GG which will most probably annoy her as she hates Arsenal and is a Man U fan and is my partner....but Mrs GG is easier than calling her my Manc loving partner) who works from home took a very rare break from the daily enslavement of her laptop and phone and joined me on the couch. 

It was a long speech and we both sat in silence sipping our coffee in awe of the sheer confidence, humility and belief that the President displayed throughout. I found the whole thing very heartwarming and inspirational and couldn't help thinking how different things would have been after 9/11 had Obama been in power then. Well done to him !!!!

Last night I received an email from @captianwowsplat who had suffered a particularly horrible bad beat at the hands of Poker Stars random card generator which can be seen here. The main problem here is that the caller had about 12% chance of winning this hand post flop and it was, to most players, an easy lay down. Unfortunately for captainwowsplat, the player in question had absolutely no idea of odds or even any idea of what poker is about and he called off a large bet hoping that he could get VERY lucky and Poker Stars obliged as it often does. This is the type of play that angers real poker players, and in normal circumstances would not have arose as the hand would be over after the all in that was near pot sized.

 I later examined the player's recent stats here and it is apparent he has been playing very badly at micro stake MTTs' for some time and only recently won one for $109. God knows how he actually won one, but it is patently obvious he is not a player and was having a shot at a higher level. I suffered a couple of bad beats yesterday morning on the same site which I tweeted. I was angry at the time but as they say 'that's poker'. It's NOT poker but it is the way it is becoming unfortunately. I had much greater success at the tables when I was a beginner. I have read countless books including Harrington, Super System and subscribe to Poker Player magazine. Have they improved the way I play? Yes. Do I win less now? YES, a LOT less. Very strange indeed.

Anyway, it's Thursday and that means TwitterPoker Tour. I am second on the leader board in the European version and will do my best to get to a position where I can play heads up for an Ibanez Custom guitar. I really want it and it would be a shame if it was won by someone who doesn't know the difference between a C and a G chord :)

See you at the tables later fellow tweeters........

Tuesday 2 June 2009

Fair Play Arsenal

Not a lot has been happening in Arsenal news lately and the press, always on the look out for transfer rumour, have decided to focus on the imminent move of Cesc Fabregas to Barcelona. Just the usual type of story that rears its ugly head at this time of year. The Daily Mail reports:

''And the newspaper claims 'reliable sources' believe there is already a 'firm agreement' that their former trainee will rejoin the club next month.

It is estimated the fee would be in excess of £40million, though Barca could offer players in exchange or a significant chunk of cash in performance-related clauses.''

I think these reports can be taken with a pinch of salt and I would imagine their 'reliable sources' are probably not as reliable as they claim. I can't see Cesc making a move at this stage in his Arsenal career.

In other news, Arsenal finished 3rd in the Fair Play League, which is a good reflection of our attitude and the way we approach the game. This is the table where Sp*rs get closest to us and they are only three places below us. I think 'St Totteringham's Day' in this league falls later than the traditional one. I really think the FPL is their only chance to get close to us so well done to Twitchy Redknapp and his shower of useless overrated lilywhite shite merchants. I believe that if they overtake us in this race their video production company is on standby to produce a double DVD set entitled 'Mirror, Mirror on the Wall We are the Fairest of Them All'. I have also heard from a 'reliable source' that they scrapped their latest DVD set in post production. It was to be called 'Pav,North London's Greatest Russian'. Needless to say, it was binned a few months ago. It's also very interesting to see who finished bottom of the FPL, yes indeed, Phil Liar Orange Face and his shower of shit. The table doesn't lie as he does hehe.

Not much else happening today and the sun has just slipped away under a hazy cloud covering. Still very warm though.

Monday 1 June 2009

Satellite Strategy Gone Wrong

Monday has arrived after a very tiring weekend of eating, drinking, donking at the tables and frying in the sun. I have just been to the shops for some nicotine reinforcement and the temperature gauge in car is sitting at 30 degrees.  Now that is HOT when you have a Scottish skin that is designed for wind, rain, snow and hailstones.

On a more sombre note, I was very sad to hear about the Air France flight this morning. It kinda puts all our problems and challenges in life into perspective. We all have to put our trust in all of the variables, technical and human, when we step on a plane. I have flown over the Atlantic many times and I always feel relief when I walk off the plane intact. I HATE flying but if you want to see the world it's impossible to avoid it unless you have lots of time on your hands to do it by boat. I always remember packing to come home in our Toronto hotel not long after 9/11 and the Canadian news channel was reporting an Airbus that had come down in Queens. We were heading to Pearson airport to get on an Airbus and it was a horrible feeling.  Those poor poor souls and their families. Awful and extremely sad.

Anyway, I hadn't intended to write that paragraph but it just jumped into my head as I started typing. 

I played in a WSOP satellite earlier today and saw some of the worst satellite strategy I have seen in some time. It was a Stage 1 on PKR which is my favourite poker site (no use for multi tabling but fantastic PS3 style graphics) There were 12 runners with the top 2 going through to Stage2 which offers a 1 in 5 chance to progress to a direct Main Event qualifier. Now, I am no expert in odds and strategy as I tend to play more on instinct. I have been fairly successful in this type of tourney which has allowed me to play in quite a few big events. Unfortunately I have yet to take down a BIG one but live in hope. I always regret folding a hand when I was 2nd out of three to go on to TV in 'Poker After Dark'. Top two went through and I was left cursing my bad bubble play after having came through two satellites to win the $400 seat. Today I won the satellite and there was a player who had over 20,000 chips at the end of the rebuy period. By the time we were 5 handed I was thinking 'he could fold his way to a seat'. He ended up donking all of his chips away on less than premium hands and went out 5th after calling an all in pre flop with 74 suited !!!! The other players at the table were as surprised as I was. I noticed that he came from Newcastle and perhaps he adopted the same mental strength as his football team :)

I have negotiated the first hurdle of my WSOP dream. I am now two games away from The Amazon Room. It's a dream but dreams can come true, even for me. I am crossing everything I have.

Sunday 31 May 2009

A Damp Squib in The Searing Heat

The weekend began for me with  Saturday morning's MiniTwitter Poker Tour on Carbon Poker. This is a weekly event which has a buy in of $5.50 and offers a $109 tournament token for Sunday's 50K to the winner. As there were only ten runners, the value of this is excellent. I actually won it two weeks ago but didn't take great advantage of the first prize and busted pretty early from the 50K. 

This week there were eight Americans and two of us from the UK and the prospect of another win looked a possibility as there was no Steve Brogan to get past. As the tournament starts at such a late hour, I had already consumed two barrels of German beer which is traditional and my head was feeling suitably fired up. It all started very badly for the Europeans as my fellow Brit Jeff hit the rail before I had time to drink my first tournament beer. Oh well, it's down to me now I thought. I passed a few early hands and then looked down at pocket Aces. Mmmm let's see what I can do with these. I was in middle position and fired in a standard raise and was called by 'Shitman' on the Big Blind. Now a raise is a show of strength from me as I don't bluff early position and certainly not this early in a tournament. the flop came down 99x and I kept firing until all the chips were in the middle. Shitman turned over Jack 9 off suit and that was it for me. A bad call which sent me into a blind alcohol fuelled rage. I joined a fellow Tweeter Street3 who had fallen asleep and missed the event and played a very enjoyable heads up with him after we had wiped the floor with 4 other players. He ended up sucking out on me but hell I don't mind as I did similar to him a few weeks ago. Nice one Street3 !!

Saturday afternoon was FA Cup final day and it started very well for Everton and the neutral spectator, and everyone else who despises Chavski and their rancid collection of brutish fuckers. Louis Saha fired in a cracker which was the fastest goal in FA Cup Final history. A fantastic start to a game that was to turn into a big damp squib. By the time that Lumpturd fired in the winner I was reaching for the sick bag. Someone tweeted 'Plate faced twat' which really summed it up for me and I smiled. I switched over to Scottish Cup Final as soon as the final whistle went and am glad to say that I haven't yet seen one image of their celebrations. I am still not convinced that the new Wembley is the great arena it should have been and Setanta's coverage is certainly never going to compete with Sky. Big damp squib is my overriding summary of a cup final that will live in the memory as long as Susan Boyle's singing. 

Well done to Diversity for winning 'Britain's Got Talent' and well done to the Scottish weather for giving us the opportunity of a Sunday afternoon barbecue. Time for some serious eating and drinking........

Friday 29 May 2009

Why am I not at World Series of Poker?

'Shuffle  up and deal' those famous words that herald the greatest event in the poker world. The World Series of Poker 2009 is underway in The Rio and I so wish that I was there. The Main Event starts on Friday July 3rd and I guess I do have time to qualify, but it's been a hard year for me at the tables and I no longer have the bankroll to give it a shot in one of the bigger satellites. We spent a lot of time at The Rio on our last Vegas trip and I did well at the cash tables there - I just want the opportunity to be back there in July. I do believe I will play in it one day and I think most poker players have to believe such things are possible. Chris Moneymaker did it so why not me... or you. For now I will just have to content myself with the Twitter Poker Tour.

The TPT took place last night with 40 runners. I didn't have a great run and ended up going out 24th. It starts at 2am UK time so is not really suited to most Europeans who work. There is however, a European TPT that starts at 7pm UK and a lot less runners, usually 9 or 10. I finished second last night after a marathon heads up with Steve Brogan. The turning point came when I paired my ace on the flop and shoved not realising he had the nut flush which improved to a Royal Flush on the river. Nice one Steve !! I never really recovered after that and Steve took down his second TPTE in a row. Well done to him.

There is not a lot happening in the world of Arsenal at the moment but if any of you tune in to Arseblog's Arsecast, you will have heard me as the first caller with my 'disappointment of the season'. It has to be that horrible night at The Emirates when Sp*rs came back to draw 4-4. I honestly can't remember another point in the season where I felt so angry and cheated and just plain shit. A truly horrible experience. It was great to hear my opinion on Arsecast (fame at last) and for those of you who listen, it puts me in the company of Eboue, Arsene Wenger Hawkins, The Man in the Bar, Amoury Bishcoff PI, George and David O'Leary

A nice hot sunny Friday here in Glasgow as I imagine it is in most places today. Off to enjoy some of it and dream of boarding that Virgin Atlantic to Vegas at the end of June mmmm.....

Thursday 28 May 2009

The night beauty beat the beast

Despite all the bumming up of Manchester United in the run up to last nights final by the media, I never for a minute thought that they would win it back to back. To beat Barcelona they would have to play their strongest team and every player would have to be on TOP form. Neither happened and from ten minutes in there was never going to be any doubt that the Catalans would emerge as victors.

From Vidic letting Eto'o skin him to Van Der Saar being beaten at his near post, the poor form just seemed to surge through the whole team including their £30,000,000 substitute (can't remember his name but you know the guy with the greasy hair and lazy demenour who used to play for a shitty North London team). Rooney was totally lost on the left, Carrick's passing was poor and crucially they didn't get the usual slice of luck and refereeing decisions that they seem to enjoy week in week out in the Prem. I am not for a minute suggesting that they are not worthy champions, but they do grind out a lot of results and against a team of Barcelona's calibre, they just didn't have the required quality. It seemed to be a surprise to many how they capitulated, but I expected them to lose though perhaps not as comprehensively as they did.

Barca were missing players like Marquez, Abidal and Alvez. However, the players who did play were excellent. Messi is the greatest player in the world and he proved it. Iniesta ran the midfield and Pique was commanding at the back. Even Eto'o surprised me with his work rate and willingness to get back and help. 

I am happy Barcelona won and hope to  see some more sanity from the media regarding Manchester United and Ronaldo. They are very good but last night they were up against GREAT. Nice to see Thierry get a well deserved winner's medal. Barca will not defend it either because next year is the turn of Arsenal !!! I hope :) 

Wednesday 27 May 2009

I Need a Drink

The last few days have seen me playing no poker, drinking heavily and generally being out of the football loop. On top of all that, I had a round trip drive of nearly 700 miles to attend a wedding.

What a comfort it was to arrive at our hotel in Northampton to see a bottle of mineral water waiting to quench my thirst. On closer inspection I discovered it cost £3.95 to open the lid, and it was warm. On top of that, it cost £5 per day for the privilege of parking at the hotel. As the hotel was next to the M1, where the hell else was one meant to park... the hard shoulder??? All in all it was a stark demonstration of rip off Britain at its worst. 

On Sunday afternoon we wandered into a bar in Northampton to catch the Premiership finale. I was hoping to see Phil 'turdface' Brown and his team go down but sadly they stayed up due to Newcastle having as much spunk as a castrated bull :( 

I Sky +'d the Arsenal v Stoke game and eventually watched it on Monday evening. A good end to our season even though it meant very little.

Tonight we have the prospect of seeing Man U losing to Barcelona or the unthinkable prospect of Diver and co lifting the cup. I really don't think I could stomach the latter, especially after what that Evra has been saying about Cesc. I really, really hope that Lionel Messi is on top form and takes the total piss out of him. Go Barca !!!!!!!!!!!

Friday 22 May 2009

Manchester United Please Beat Hull

It's not often that I want any positive result for the Mancs, but come Sunday afternoon I will be jumping around the room if their young team can send scumbag Phil Browns' Hull City to the Championship.

Make no mistake, Phil Brown is an unsavoury runt of a man who deserves no success in anything he does. The outcome of the spitting incident is not surprising as he dug the hole for himself the moment he made a complete arse of himself at the live post match interview. His body language during that interview said it all, LIAR LIAR !!!!!

So for one day only most if not all Gooners will be saying COME ON THE MANCS !!!

Thursday 21 May 2009

Video Blog Test

Just trying this video thing out as I wait for Twitter Poker Tour

Twitter Poker Tour

Thursday evenings are all about The Twitter Poker Tour. I searched Google for a TPT image to accompany this post and Tara Palmer Tompkinson was as close as I got. There was an image of some Italian woman wearing very little with her ass in the air from her My Space page, so Tara it is.

I played in TPT Europe at 7pm and finished 3rd after leading for a while. Steve Brogan was wiping the floor with us all by the end of play and he notched up a deserved win. There were only nine runners and it would be nice to get some more Europeans involved. I think there were 5 Europeans tonight and we finished 2nd and 3rd, so not too bad.

As I have been running pretty bad lately, I am selective when I play now and avoiding the intense 8-12 hour marathons I used to have. I closed my Full Tilt after the tourney and headed upstairs for a few games of FIFA 2009 (awesome game) which has permanent residence in my Playstation

I am watching some Irish Open highlights with some great commentary from Neil Channing. Neil has a very deep understanding of the game and I love listening to his insights and hand analysis. 

Later on (2am) comes the Twitter Poker Tour Season 3  Event #6  on PokerStars. There will be a much bigger field for this and it really is a great tourney to play in. I have yet to win either a TPT or TPTE but have however won a mini TPT on Carbon. I won a $109 seat for their $50k Sunday but failed to cash after having a reasonable stack for a short while. Someday............